March 1, 2013: I had my first audition in a little over a year.
March 2, 2013: I had callbacks for this play today. I was let go early while other actors were told to stay...
A few minutes ago, I got a call from the Director Kendra....She told me that I'm in! I got cast as Jinn 2. Deuce club!!....This is my first play in over a year; since May 2011. I've missed acting and it got to the point where it hurt me. It even hurt me a bit seeing my lil bRho Maslow act and not me....So I decided to audition and I gave it everything I had during the audition and callbacks. "Jinn" is going to be a great production and I'm going to step up to make it that much greater. I am going to be way busier than ever but it will be worth it. Here comes Enigma.
This past week has actually been very terrible besides today....I'm getting frustrated with the chapter. I am doing my best to not let my negativity take over....I don't remember Tuesday and I was wolfing out during Jazz on Wednesday. I need to start seeing someone again. It's starting to take over again....Serena and I aren't doing so well. But in the past couple days, we've been doing well. I love this girl and that's why I am trying so hard. I just don't want to lose her....People come and go. Some people go and we couldn't care less. Some people go and it absolutely destroys us. Sometimes it surprises us how we react when someone leaves. We care more than we think; we care less than we think.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
I Don't Care For Fairy Tales
I'm getting sick of these illusions of "good people"....I think there are just people. And people do things....Things have been hectic and will get even more hectic. It's our Rho Week (February 24-March 3). Epsilon Sigma Rho Fraternity, Inc. was founded on March 2, 1986....We had a great "ESRho Family BBQ". My mama got to meet the Rhos and hang out with them. It was frustrating though with how unorganized we can be at times. Today, no one showed up for tabling except for me....I'm getting more and more tired. Things are happening again mentally. I think I know when I can see my psychologist. I need to. My Theatre classes start on March 4....
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Take Her Out
I am doing terribly with keeping up with this....School has been alright. I'm anxious for my Theatre classes....Serena and I have been great. We celebrated our one year last week. We both dislike Valentine's Day so we did not see each other then....ESRho is getting hectic as we have a very busy two weeks. The Showcase performance with OPC and KDChi was amazing! I love performing so much. I have been toying with the idea of becoming a motivational speaker or at least looking into it....I signed up for my first audition since December 2011. We'll see how it goes. If not, I am going to flip out. If I do get it, I'll flip out but in a different way. I'm on my way back!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
The Rising
Things have been slightly getting better....I spaced away from Serena because I didn't want to lash out and be who I used to be. I think it helped because we were pretty grand when we finally saw each other last night....Work is starting to get really tiring. I get by in the day if I have an energy drink but I don't want to go to being totally dependent on it. I just need a good sleep and to relax....This recruitment thing is fun. It is interesting to me how we recruit and pRHOmote ourselves. I wonder how other organizations do it. I'm nervous for the Greek Unity event on Saturday...I am one of the keynote speakers. I have no idea why especially on the topic of Greek Unity. I figure I'm one of the last people who should be speaking on it. Well MGC is competing as it's own team for Greek Week and I was one of the people spurring for it. Hopefully we do not fall flat on our face.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
A Volcano
I am just starting to get angrier....I'm in a dark place. I feel though that my "dark place" is a bit different than others' "dark place"....Serena and I have been fighting for the past two days. Fan-fucking-tastic. It seems like negativity just overflows everywhere.....Today has been terrible as well. I feel like going to drink. I'm trying to avoid using drinking as a coping mechanism but sitting around doesn't really work. It seems like things around me are falling apart as well....I didn't go to Jazz because I was late so I would not have been allowed to participate. I don't have my laptop because it is broken. I'm having a problem with someone who I have always had a problem with today. The pool tournament is tonight and I'm sure I will not do too well. I just want to hide and scream and kick something.
Monday, January 28, 2013
A Return
My last post was on December 24, 2011....My friend Sandy B. and I decided that we are going to start blogging again. To say what I have been doing for the past year would take a long time but I'll try!...I have dating Serena L. since February 12, 2012. It's almost our one year. I am also High Alpha for Epic Zeta for the second year....It's a tough year for us because after May, we will have five BRhothers graduate. Which means we will really need to recruit this semester. I have only three Dance classes until my Theatre classes start in March. But my Dance class starts at 7:30 a.m. on Monday/Wednesday and I go to work at 7 a.m. on Tuesday/Thursday/Friday....That means I will be sleepy all semester. At least I'm less busy this semester. Taking a Latin/Salsa I with my sands RHOgue is so much fun. We should've done this a long time ago. I have a feeling we'll get even closer.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Epiphany
I want to be happy....But I'm not doing anything about it. I'm finally acknowledging that I "should be" happier than what I am.....Before I wasn't even close to knowing where I was. It's weird to want to be better. Weird because I was content with whatever I got.....Now I realize that I have been allowing myself to be at a "comfortable" level of happiness instead of going as high as I could. I know I could be happier but I'm not doing anything about it. One day, I'll be able to make the move. I just hope those opportunities stay.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Project Phase III
The concepts I am integrating are Psychology and Theatre. I’ve always enjoyed psychology. I enjoy how it is almost able to explain everything about the human psyche. The human is such a complex entity and for a field of knowledge to almost have it down pat is pretty amazing. Sure there are a lot of variations on a lot of things but the human psyche just keeps evolving and it’s ever-changing. Theatre has been a part of my life for five years now. I absolutely love acting and performing in general. To have the audience in the palm of my hand and to have the power (if I do the role well) to make them laugh, cry, hate me or love me, is just mind-blowing to me. I prefer theatre over film because it’s live and it’s different with every performance.
How am I going to integrate these two? I have thought of two ways. The first one, I do it anytime I take on a role. I use what I’ve learned in psychology and try to figure out the character’s background and motivations that guide the character’s actions. I do my best to psychoanalyze using the information I’ve learned in the past few years to determine how to proceed with the character. The other way is to use theatre techniques in psychology. I need to do more research in this area but it’s the same as using psychology in theatre. I would want to work more with families and to learn about their roles in the family and how they work together. I always thought that life is a play and I guess the family can be compared to a cast you work with. A cast has to be able to have good chemistry and I think a lot of that chemistry comes from understanding one another.
I think this will help me achieve my vision in that “making it” as an actor is more, to me, philosophical than something I can actually measure. I don’t think winning an Oscar is me “making it”. To me, it’s being able to play every role and become every character on a consistent basis to the point where I know that I can maintain it. Delving more into the world of psychology and learning more information will help me with the roles I take on.
I think it can help others because if I can bring a character to life by learning their unique characteristics, then I should be able to better understand the human condition. If I am able to become a character where someone can relate to what they see onstage, maybe I can offer some insight to the psychological problems or questions people might have. Learning about the characters gives me the chance to look at life from a different perspective that isn’t my own. At least as much as I can get without actually body snatching. This would have to take me bettering myself in the psychology field though because I feel out of the two, theatre is a lot stronger.
How am I going to integrate these two? I have thought of two ways. The first one, I do it anytime I take on a role. I use what I’ve learned in psychology and try to figure out the character’s background and motivations that guide the character’s actions. I do my best to psychoanalyze using the information I’ve learned in the past few years to determine how to proceed with the character. The other way is to use theatre techniques in psychology. I need to do more research in this area but it’s the same as using psychology in theatre. I would want to work more with families and to learn about their roles in the family and how they work together. I always thought that life is a play and I guess the family can be compared to a cast you work with. A cast has to be able to have good chemistry and I think a lot of that chemistry comes from understanding one another.
I think this will help me achieve my vision in that “making it” as an actor is more, to me, philosophical than something I can actually measure. I don’t think winning an Oscar is me “making it”. To me, it’s being able to play every role and become every character on a consistent basis to the point where I know that I can maintain it. Delving more into the world of psychology and learning more information will help me with the roles I take on.
I think it can help others because if I can bring a character to life by learning their unique characteristics, then I should be able to better understand the human condition. If I am able to become a character where someone can relate to what they see onstage, maybe I can offer some insight to the psychological problems or questions people might have. Learning about the characters gives me the chance to look at life from a different perspective that isn’t my own. At least as much as I can get without actually body snatching. This would have to take me bettering myself in the psychology field though because I feel out of the two, theatre is a lot stronger.
Friday, November 18, 2011
The Sage
"When we have learned to stop fighting life and to trust its processes, we no longer need suffering." P218
First, I want to say this was probably my favorite chapter. I love this quote because I've been writing a movie for the past three years and this quote sums it up perfectly. It's about a group of people who go through their own struggles; for example, one is gay but doesn't come out to family because they'd be ashamed of him and another is a lesbian who is out with everyone except for her church. Her conflict comes from trying to be a "good Christian" and being a lesbian. Well the movie goes on with the several characters going through their struggles. Throughout the movie, closer to the end of course, each one just lets go and accepts their situation.
With this acceptance, things happen to become easier. Not because things change drastically but it's that thinking that maybe the best thing to do with LIFE sometimes isn't to fight it but to just accept it and work with it.
"Such a person cannot commit to a lover, because he does not know how to know if this is the right person for him." P216
I almost understood this section, "The Negative Sage". It talks about things not being good enough and feeling numb. I've felt both. I do at the present time with some things I'm going through. It seems as though no matter what I accomplish, it falls short to the feeling of "accomplishment" I think I should be feeling. I do understand being pessimistic because I don't know for sure if a relationship will work out or if my chapter is going to succeed so I just hope for the worst.
I do understand how others can feel superior to others because of their inability to understand. We (my fraternity) have run into some bad vibes from other fraternities because we're not like them. We're not overly macho or cocky. We actually dance in public and act like ourselves as goofy as that may be. I feel like this comes from them not understanding who we are and I think if we took the time to try to understand each other, there would be no need to feel superior to someone.
First, I want to say this was probably my favorite chapter. I love this quote because I've been writing a movie for the past three years and this quote sums it up perfectly. It's about a group of people who go through their own struggles; for example, one is gay but doesn't come out to family because they'd be ashamed of him and another is a lesbian who is out with everyone except for her church. Her conflict comes from trying to be a "good Christian" and being a lesbian. Well the movie goes on with the several characters going through their struggles. Throughout the movie, closer to the end of course, each one just lets go and accepts their situation.
With this acceptance, things happen to become easier. Not because things change drastically but it's that thinking that maybe the best thing to do with LIFE sometimes isn't to fight it but to just accept it and work with it.
"Such a person cannot commit to a lover, because he does not know how to know if this is the right person for him." P216
I almost understood this section, "The Negative Sage". It talks about things not being good enough and feeling numb. I've felt both. I do at the present time with some things I'm going through. It seems as though no matter what I accomplish, it falls short to the feeling of "accomplishment" I think I should be feeling. I do understand being pessimistic because I don't know for sure if a relationship will work out or if my chapter is going to succeed so I just hope for the worst.
I do understand how others can feel superior to others because of their inability to understand. We (my fraternity) have run into some bad vibes from other fraternities because we're not like them. We're not overly macho or cocky. We actually dance in public and act like ourselves as goofy as that may be. I feel like this comes from them not understanding who we are and I think if we took the time to try to understand each other, there would be no need to feel superior to someone.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
The Ruler
"As the Warrior needs to learn to fight for what really matters (not just win) and the Caregiver to sacrifice only for what is essential (not just to win)...." P188
I found this to be very interesting because sometimes we forget to do things for the "right" reasons. This section talked about the Shadow Ruler. They do things for the sake of doing it and not for the "good". It's to win just because they can. To realize the Shadow Ruler exists, sometimes it takes hurting ourselves or someone else. It goes with a saying I live by; "Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven". It's the existence of hell that makes heaven that much better.
"And the saddest resource to waste is a human life." P189
The Ruler can see the potential in all people. As President in my fraternity, I notice a lot of bRhothers being put down and their value questioned by other bRhothers. I do my best to see the good that those in question can contribute. I also do my best for those bRhothers to actually use their potential. Me bringing it out of them and doing it for them will be pointless. I believe all bRhothers have something to contribute. Some characteristics are easier to see or notice than others though.
I found this to be very interesting because sometimes we forget to do things for the "right" reasons. This section talked about the Shadow Ruler. They do things for the sake of doing it and not for the "good". It's to win just because they can. To realize the Shadow Ruler exists, sometimes it takes hurting ourselves or someone else. It goes with a saying I live by; "Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven". It's the existence of hell that makes heaven that much better.
"And the saddest resource to waste is a human life." P189
The Ruler can see the potential in all people. As President in my fraternity, I notice a lot of bRhothers being put down and their value questioned by other bRhothers. I do my best to see the good that those in question can contribute. I also do my best for those bRhothers to actually use their potential. Me bringing it out of them and doing it for them will be pointless. I believe all bRhothers have something to contribute. Some characteristics are easier to see or notice than others though.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Vital Five
One of the five things that I find vital in my journey is my fear of failure. Usually this would stop people from doing many things. But for me, I've heard from others, it keeps me grounded. Not being cocky really goes a long away. I never take anything for granted and question my value of, in this case, myself as an actor. I think this keeps me on my toes and allows me to never be comfortable with my situation. My fear that I can fail at anytime is something I wouldn't give up though.
Another thing is my hesitancy to trust. I guess this can be lined up with my fear of failure. But my hesitancy to trust allows me to keep people at a distance. I've grown up being hurt by those close to me. Not just jumping into complete trust with someone gives me the chance of not being hurt or taken advantage of. I find this and my fear of failure to be necessary so I wouldn't give this up either.
The third thing I want to list is my girlfriend. She provides me with support and shows me reason to be optimistic. As much as she is able to build me up she still is there to keep me grounded and make sure I don't get cocky. I know that she'll stick it out with me through thick and thin, that's why I'm not going to get rid of her. The only thing that would stop us is if I had to move and she couldn't or wouldn't.
Another thing I have is my fraternity. These guys provide a family for me that differs from my blood family. They provide people I can count on anytime and also networking purposes. They know someone who knows someone who knows someone. Being in this fraternity has helped me grow as a person and also puts me in leadership positions that I never would've experienced had I not done it.
The fifth thing I have is my family. As much as I'm grateful for everything they've done for me and who they've shaped me into, I feel like lately they've held me back a lot. There's a lot I want to do with my life at the moment but I have to hold back because of my mom's financial situation or my younger brothers needing someone there or protecting my family from my dad. The thing I would want to give up is my family. It would kill me to do it but I feel like it'd be a burden that I can be rid of. I would come back to help my family once I accomplish my goals but at the moment, I would cut them off.
Another thing is my hesitancy to trust. I guess this can be lined up with my fear of failure. But my hesitancy to trust allows me to keep people at a distance. I've grown up being hurt by those close to me. Not just jumping into complete trust with someone gives me the chance of not being hurt or taken advantage of. I find this and my fear of failure to be necessary so I wouldn't give this up either.
The third thing I want to list is my girlfriend. She provides me with support and shows me reason to be optimistic. As much as she is able to build me up she still is there to keep me grounded and make sure I don't get cocky. I know that she'll stick it out with me through thick and thin, that's why I'm not going to get rid of her. The only thing that would stop us is if I had to move and she couldn't or wouldn't.
Another thing I have is my fraternity. These guys provide a family for me that differs from my blood family. They provide people I can count on anytime and also networking purposes. They know someone who knows someone who knows someone. Being in this fraternity has helped me grow as a person and also puts me in leadership positions that I never would've experienced had I not done it.
The fifth thing I have is my family. As much as I'm grateful for everything they've done for me and who they've shaped me into, I feel like lately they've held me back a lot. There's a lot I want to do with my life at the moment but I have to hold back because of my mom's financial situation or my younger brothers needing someone there or protecting my family from my dad. The thing I would want to give up is my family. It would kill me to do it but I feel like it'd be a burden that I can be rid of. I would come back to help my family once I accomplish my goals but at the moment, I would cut them off.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
The Creator
"They may not notice anything that doesn't fit into this basic pattern." P 170
I definitely believe in this. To be raised a certain way, it's hard to ever have that way of thinking change. I never really thought of it the other way, that the person doesn't notice when something isn't fitting into the pattern. The thinking is so powerful that it tends to push the person's actions into playing into the thinking and put them into circumstances that encourage the thinking. That cycle just never ends.
"...when the Creator is active in our lives, we are pushed at least to decide to be ourselves, even if it means that we will die unknown, poor, and alone." P 171
The thing I got most from this chapter was that the Creator being able to be fully active means that there's a a release from the consciousness which leads to being creative in an effortless manner. We push ourselves for things we care about like our arts for example. I have done many plays in sacrifice of having a job which means I don't have a lot of money. That lead to me not having gas for my car or barely affording school but something inside of me know I was doing something I loved so it was worth it to me.
I definitely believe in this. To be raised a certain way, it's hard to ever have that way of thinking change. I never really thought of it the other way, that the person doesn't notice when something isn't fitting into the pattern. The thinking is so powerful that it tends to push the person's actions into playing into the thinking and put them into circumstances that encourage the thinking. That cycle just never ends.
"...when the Creator is active in our lives, we are pushed at least to decide to be ourselves, even if it means that we will die unknown, poor, and alone." P 171
The thing I got most from this chapter was that the Creator being able to be fully active means that there's a a release from the consciousness which leads to being creative in an effortless manner. We push ourselves for things we care about like our arts for example. I have done many plays in sacrifice of having a job which means I don't have a lot of money. That lead to me not having gas for my car or barely affording school but something inside of me know I was doing something I loved so it was worth it to me.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Destroyer
"An awareness of death can free us from the overfixation.....it calls us back to remember what really matters." P137
I am comfortable talking about death. A lot of people I know aren't. It's too gloom and doom for them. I see no problem with acknowledging that I'm going to die someday and that "someday" is unknown. I think I do it because it keeps me driven like the quote says. Sometimes in life, I become too content with what's going on and I don't strive for anything. Also, I may fill my life with all this superficial stuff that ultimately, when it comes to an eventual death, it really doesn't matter.
"...only when we are willing to experience our inauthenticity that we are able to open to our Souls." P145
I learned this through my years of doing theatre. I didn't just have to look upon the surface of the character's motives; I had to look deeper into their likes and dislikes. For example, in the play "Frozen", I was Ralph, a man who kidnapped, sexually assaulted and killed seven little girls. I had to go beyond the anger and monstrosity of him and his acts but deeper. I had to delve into his reasoning. I had to accept his flaws as well as what was actually written out in the script.
It wasn't until I submerged myself into his demons and flaws that I was able to find the key to his character. I believe I was able to tap into the actual Soul of Ralph and that attributed to the success of my taking on the role.
The way to our Soul is accepting and venturing into everything we are. To deny our inauthenticity, is naive, in my opinion.
I am comfortable talking about death. A lot of people I know aren't. It's too gloom and doom for them. I see no problem with acknowledging that I'm going to die someday and that "someday" is unknown. I think I do it because it keeps me driven like the quote says. Sometimes in life, I become too content with what's going on and I don't strive for anything. Also, I may fill my life with all this superficial stuff that ultimately, when it comes to an eventual death, it really doesn't matter.
"...only when we are willing to experience our inauthenticity that we are able to open to our Souls." P145
I learned this through my years of doing theatre. I didn't just have to look upon the surface of the character's motives; I had to look deeper into their likes and dislikes. For example, in the play "Frozen", I was Ralph, a man who kidnapped, sexually assaulted and killed seven little girls. I had to go beyond the anger and monstrosity of him and his acts but deeper. I had to delve into his reasoning. I had to accept his flaws as well as what was actually written out in the script.
It wasn't until I submerged myself into his demons and flaws that I was able to find the key to his character. I believe I was able to tap into the actual Soul of Ralph and that attributed to the success of my taking on the role.
The way to our Soul is accepting and venturing into everything we are. To deny our inauthenticity, is naive, in my opinion.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Seeker
P 126, "To the Seeker, the issue is conformity versus individuality...Yet the desire to please, fit in, to satisfy the demands of family, peer group, work or school environment is still strong."
Through the whole chapter, I got the sense that the Seeker is a Seeker and not a Wanderer because their journeys or missions were genuine. When it was for something bigger than themselves. It's easier to conform and to try to work to please a family. My family dislikes that I'm in Psychology and Theatre. They think I should've done what a lot of Asians do and go into the medical field. It's financially stable and it's what they know. They aren't too familiar with Theatre or Psychology.
P 127 "...we do not immediately find the paradise or holy land we seek."
It takes awhile for us to reach what we originally started off for. I'm sure over my journey as trying to "make it" as an actor or a family psychologist using theatre techniques, I'm going to come across a lot of obstacles and distractions. If my journey is really genuine and true, then I should be able to stay on the course of my journey.
I wish I had the drive of the Seeker. Sure I love acting and will sacrifice a lot for it. But this semester I'm not doing any productions because I want to focus more on family, school, my fraternity, and my relationship. I want to get these things on track before I follow my own dreams. I have noticed that these things take a hit when I do a play because of the time and commitment it takes. Maybe this journey will lead me to something else entirely. Maybe it'll lead me to my best role yet.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Phase I Project
Knowledge:
1) I'll help my fraternity's chapter grow with me being the President.
2) I know I will be celebrating my one year anniversary of being with my current girlfriend.
3) I'll move up to a classroom lead at the school I work at.
4) I know I'll be finally moving out of my parents' house.
5) I know I'll be in two more plays.
6) I know I'll be working at an internship that involves Psychology.
Hope:
1) I hope I'll have enough money to go back to school.
2) I hope I'll be with an acting agency.
3) I hope that I can help my family keep the house.
4) I hope that I can go to Ireland and spend a few months there.
5) I hope that I'll be happy.
Stretch:
1) I'd love it if I could find a way to financially guarantee that my family keeps their house.
2) I'd love to go to Chicago or LA and pursue acting.
3) I'd love to be able to go to graduate school.
Vision:
1) I want to "make it" as an actor.
I want to "make it" as an actor by September 29, 2011. It's going to be difficult to accomplish this for many reasons. The first being that "making it" is such a subjective idea. There isn't really a definite goal that once it's reached, I'll know that I "made it". If I make it into a blockbuster movie, to someone else that could mean that I "made it". If I make millions of dollars, that could also mean that I "made it".
To me, "making it" as an actor is the ability to consistently submerge myself into a role. I did it once for a play where I was someone who kidnapped, sexually assaulted and killed seven little girls. That role messed me up mentally to the point where I was physically suffering from it. I did a couple more roles after that but I didn't work at it as hard as I should or the way I did that other role.
Another reason that this will be difficult to accomplish is that, 12 months is not that much time, as much as it is. I'd have to save up money to move out of AZ. I would move out because I have a lot of actor friends who said that there eventually is a ceiling in AZ and you have to move to LA and Chicago to grow. I'd want to do it here in AZ but if there is a ceiling, I'll need to get out and I don't think I will be able to hit the ceiling in 12 months.
My last reason is that, I'll need to grow so much as an actor to be able to submerge myself on a consistent basis. It seems like every year, Leonardo DiCaprio puts out movies where he just absolutely kills it acting-wise. He's one of the most consistent I have ever seen. But it took him years to gain that experience.
People involved in my vision, I'll start with my family. I wouldn't want to leave them because of our horrible financial situation that we're in now. I feel like I'd be abandoning them. My mom has always expressed her feelings about my sister and how she kind of abandoned us and does her own thing. She's proud of my sister, she just wishes my sister gave back more.
Another would be my fraternity brothers here in AZ. They'd all support me and probably try to get money together to help me out. There are also the fraternity brothers who live in California who are always willing to help a brother out. I could live with one of the brothers until I got on my feet.
Someone else would be my girlfriend. She'd support me for sure but I don't know how a long-distance relationship would work. I would do long-distance if there were more stability in our relationship. Then again, after 12 months of being together, we would be more stable than we are at the moment so I guess that's still up in the air.
This is the link to my prezi.
http://prezi.com/bzo_med0ufrf/bis-402-a-12-month-journey/
1) I'll help my fraternity's chapter grow with me being the President.
2) I know I will be celebrating my one year anniversary of being with my current girlfriend.
3) I'll move up to a classroom lead at the school I work at.
4) I know I'll be finally moving out of my parents' house.
5) I know I'll be in two more plays.
6) I know I'll be working at an internship that involves Psychology.
Hope:
1) I hope I'll have enough money to go back to school.
2) I hope I'll be with an acting agency.
3) I hope that I can help my family keep the house.
4) I hope that I can go to Ireland and spend a few months there.
5) I hope that I'll be happy.
Stretch:
1) I'd love it if I could find a way to financially guarantee that my family keeps their house.
2) I'd love to go to Chicago or LA and pursue acting.
3) I'd love to be able to go to graduate school.
Vision:
1) I want to "make it" as an actor.
I want to "make it" as an actor by September 29, 2011. It's going to be difficult to accomplish this for many reasons. The first being that "making it" is such a subjective idea. There isn't really a definite goal that once it's reached, I'll know that I "made it". If I make it into a blockbuster movie, to someone else that could mean that I "made it". If I make millions of dollars, that could also mean that I "made it".
To me, "making it" as an actor is the ability to consistently submerge myself into a role. I did it once for a play where I was someone who kidnapped, sexually assaulted and killed seven little girls. That role messed me up mentally to the point where I was physically suffering from it. I did a couple more roles after that but I didn't work at it as hard as I should or the way I did that other role.
Another reason that this will be difficult to accomplish is that, 12 months is not that much time, as much as it is. I'd have to save up money to move out of AZ. I would move out because I have a lot of actor friends who said that there eventually is a ceiling in AZ and you have to move to LA and Chicago to grow. I'd want to do it here in AZ but if there is a ceiling, I'll need to get out and I don't think I will be able to hit the ceiling in 12 months.
My last reason is that, I'll need to grow so much as an actor to be able to submerge myself on a consistent basis. It seems like every year, Leonardo DiCaprio puts out movies where he just absolutely kills it acting-wise. He's one of the most consistent I have ever seen. But it took him years to gain that experience.
People involved in my vision, I'll start with my family. I wouldn't want to leave them because of our horrible financial situation that we're in now. I feel like I'd be abandoning them. My mom has always expressed her feelings about my sister and how she kind of abandoned us and does her own thing. She's proud of my sister, she just wishes my sister gave back more.
Another would be my fraternity brothers here in AZ. They'd all support me and probably try to get money together to help me out. There are also the fraternity brothers who live in California who are always willing to help a brother out. I could live with one of the brothers until I got on my feet.
Someone else would be my girlfriend. She'd support me for sure but I don't know how a long-distance relationship would work. I would do long-distance if there were more stability in our relationship. Then again, after 12 months of being together, we would be more stable than we are at the moment so I guess that's still up in the air.
This is the link to my prezi.
http://prezi.com/bzo_med0ufrf/bis-402-a-12-month-journey/
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The Warrior
P. 96, it is commented that the Warrior "immediately tackles it and tries to save the day". It makes it seem like the Warrior is just itching for a fight or for a cause to try and win. It is also talked about how the negative Warrior takes everything as a contest. I've had that before in that I always wanted to prove I was right. I am one of the Founders for Epsilon Sigma Rho Fraternity, Inc. I wanted to fight everything single unjust issue that we came across. But I've learned to pick and choose my battles. We believe in multi-cultural awareness. I was very ignorant about other people's perspective. But now that I am able, for the most part, to look at things from the other side of the story, I feel better equipped to handle problems.
There is a flaw pointed out about our society. The stereotypical family has the dad as the Warrior and the mom as the Caregiver and if one of them were to be gone then who is supposed to mold the children as those archetypes? We as society need to put more emphasis on equal roles and duties instead of gender norms.
It surprised me that the Warrior was the root of a sense of identity and not the others. It makes sense that the one who defines the boundaries is the one responsible.
There is a flaw pointed out about our society. The stereotypical family has the dad as the Warrior and the mom as the Caregiver and if one of them were to be gone then who is supposed to mold the children as those archetypes? We as society need to put more emphasis on equal roles and duties instead of gender norms.
It surprised me that the Warrior was the root of a sense of identity and not the others. It makes sense that the one who defines the boundaries is the one responsible.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Let's Not Forget
I got a lot of studying done because of the 5 Hour Energy....
Ty "Hey girl, how are you doing? I miss my tooth."
That's a reason I love my job. RHOgue and I went to the MGC meeting....I didn't mind being in casual clothing. Just because we don't have a tie on doesn't mean that we aren't as serious or intelligent as you. Then we went to the LGBTQA Fall Welcome and we ran into some familiar faces....RHOgue and I went to DChiL's fundraiser. It was a lot of fun hanging out with different people and then I went to hang out with Audrey GAO. We cuddled for the first time :)
2011: 149 and 87
Ty "Hey girl, how are you doing? I miss my tooth."
That's a reason I love my job. RHOgue and I went to the MGC meeting....I didn't mind being in casual clothing. Just because we don't have a tie on doesn't mean that we aren't as serious or intelligent as you. Then we went to the LGBTQA Fall Welcome and we ran into some familiar faces....RHOgue and I went to DChiL's fundraiser. It was a lot of fun hanging out with different people and then I went to hang out with Audrey GAO. We cuddled for the first time :)
2011: 149 and 87
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
BIS 402
Lover: 29
Destroyer: 28
Caregiver: 28
Orphan: 26
Seeker: 25
Magician:25
Creator: 24
Warrior: 17
Innocent: 13
I have no idea what these mean. I read a little bit of the book already so I can somewhat guess. But it seems that I'm really not innocent and I don't really fight for things. Lover sounds good to have at the top but it could be possible that there's a negative connotation to it.
My expectations for the class are that I expect to learn a lot about myself as a person. Even just reading the first few pages of the book, I was already inspired and wanted to read more, but I had to go to work. I think the idea of the "hero" isn't really understood in society or it's downplayed a lot. The course sounds like it's going to point out where the "hero" still exists.
Destroyer: 28
Caregiver: 28
Orphan: 26
Seeker: 25
Magician:25
Creator: 24
Warrior: 17
Innocent: 13
I have no idea what these mean. I read a little bit of the book already so I can somewhat guess. But it seems that I'm really not innocent and I don't really fight for things. Lover sounds good to have at the top but it could be possible that there's a negative connotation to it.
My expectations for the class are that I expect to learn a lot about myself as a person. Even just reading the first few pages of the book, I was already inspired and wanted to read more, but I had to go to work. I think the idea of the "hero" isn't really understood in society or it's downplayed a lot. The course sounds like it's going to point out where the "hero" still exists.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Be Eliminated
Sunday August 21: Audrey GAO and I watched "The Wrestler", "Fantastic Mr. Fox" and "(500) Days of Summer"....I really enjoy spending time with her. So I told her how I felt....She feels the same way. Then we took a big step :) I'm really liking the way things are going.
2011: 146 and 86
Monday August 22: I really enjoyed Teachings of Modern Drama and it's cool that Corrinne is in there....Dances of Africa completely kicked my butt. I'm looking forward to the challenge though....G.!.M. and I went to Yard House and met up with RHOgue and Tekhnik for Cece OPC's birthday dinner. Then G!M and I went to Applebee's for dessert and GRL's fundraiser. I'm glad I got to hang out with him.
2011: 147 and 86
Tuesday August 23: Audrey GAO's first text to me was "I decided ur a werewolf".....If only she knew. I think it's time we had a talk....I seriously love Modern Dance. It was so hard but I was into it. I met up with Archangel and G.!.M. and we played pool then I went over to Audrey's...I really enjoy talking to her. I guess I have a few days to come to a decision. I already know what I'm going to do though. I guess time doesn't hurt.
2011: 148 and 86
2011: 146 and 86
Monday August 22: I really enjoyed Teachings of Modern Drama and it's cool that Corrinne is in there....Dances of Africa completely kicked my butt. I'm looking forward to the challenge though....G.!.M. and I went to Yard House and met up with RHOgue and Tekhnik for Cece OPC's birthday dinner. Then G!M and I went to Applebee's for dessert and GRL's fundraiser. I'm glad I got to hang out with him.
2011: 147 and 86
Tuesday August 23: Audrey GAO's first text to me was "I decided ur a werewolf".....If only she knew. I think it's time we had a talk....I seriously love Modern Dance. It was so hard but I was into it. I met up with Archangel and G.!.M. and we played pool then I went over to Audrey's...I really enjoy talking to her. I guess I have a few days to come to a decision. I already know what I'm going to do though. I guess time doesn't hurt.
2011: 148 and 86
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The largest!
Wednesday August 17: Passport at ASU was a lot of fun....Myself, my sands, my lils, Yin Yang, Cadence and some peeps went to Native after to get some food. Epic Fat Chapter.
2011: 142 and 86
Thursday August 18: The first day of a special year...I have Developmental Psych again and hopefully I pass this time. I really enjoyed Modern....Motus and I talked about being Presidents. I'm glad there's someone that I can vent to. RHOgue, Courtney and I saw "Warrior" and the movie was so good....I'll definitely try to see the movie again. I went boarding around school for a bit by myself.
2011: 143 and 86
2011: 142 and 86
Thursday August 18: The first day of a special year...I have Developmental Psych again and hopefully I pass this time. I really enjoyed Modern....Motus and I talked about being Presidents. I'm glad there's someone that I can vent to. RHOgue, Courtney and I saw "Warrior" and the movie was so good....I'll definitely try to see the movie again. I went boarding around school for a bit by myself.
2011: 143 and 86
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